


Dinner with the Hendersons

by Eli_Finch



Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Cigarettes, Content warnings:, Harmony Henderson, M/M, Non maincord allowed swears, Transphobia, Various Henderclones, both tillman and mike are trans and have adhd, i just cant do clone and shadows existentialism at the same time, please get every henderclone into therapy now, this takes place wherever you want it to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:15:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28598292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eli_Finch/pseuds/Eli_Finch
Summary: Mike goes with Tillman to a birthday celebration at the Hendersons and everything is deeply uncomfortable OR how embarrassing it would be if a 17 year old clone version of yourself was way more competent and smarter than you OR “Heehee! what if I made the joke about the Tillman clones serious” I thought to myself “that would be a funny joker’s trick to play on the Blaseball community” before I realized the only person I pranked was myself for getting invested in it.
Relationships: Mike Townsend/Tillman Henderson
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	Dinner with the Hendersons

“So are you ready?” Tillman asks. 

The two are walking to the Henderson residence for Tillman’s family birthday dinner. It’s going to be Mike’s first time meeting Tillman’s parents. Mike, of course, knows who Harmony Henderson is, it’s hard not to when her name is basically synonymous with “Girl Boss,” but he’s never done any further digging on the Hendersons and Tillman hasn’t been very forthcoming about them, except to say that “They're totally lame,” and the bombshell he had dropped two days before the trip.

“I know, I know I should have told you sooner. I had just assumed you’d read my wliki article.”

“Normal people don't do that you understand, right?”

“I read your wlikipedia article.”

Mike groans internally. “Haha, nothing but nice things on there I’m sure.”

“I went back and edited it later to be nicer, but it got deleted since it was technically lying about your record.”

“I don’t even know what to say to that. Thanks? I guess? ”

“Listen, I edit my wliki page all the time! They keep lying about my height.”

“Mmmhmmm,” Mike sighs. “Just the whole, you having clones is. A Lot to process. I should have had more time to wrap my head around it.”

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, it's going to be completely cringe. Like a total epic fail,” Tillman says and Mike knows he’s telling the truth. After all, Tillman’s gotten them thrown out of enough parties when Mike wanted to leave but didn’t want to say anything.

“I told you, I do want to come. Okay? I love you and I want to be with you for this.”

“And not just because you feel bad that you completely forgot to get me anything for my birthday?”

“I promise I’m not doing this out of guilt.” Mike does feel bad that he completely forgot, but they’re both so bad at remembering dates that he knows Tillman doesn’t really mind. “Besides, the fact that I’m still dating you is my gift to you.”

“Huh, can I return that gift in exchange for a new playstation instead?”

They’ve now passed behind a gate that’s blocking off the Henderson’s driveway from the rest of the street. 

Tillman turns to Mike. “Seriously bro, final chance.”

Mike imitates him back, “I told you bro I’m not rage quitting or whatever.”

Tillman grins at him. “I love you too.”

Mike gently prods him in the side, laughing, “Wait till I update your wliki article with this: Breaking news: Tillman Henderson, biggest homo in the league is possessor of real emotions.” 

Tillman nudges him back. “If I’m the biggest homo in the league, what does that make you for dating me then, huh?”

“Second biggest homo in the league? A guy with bad taste? We can workshop my title later. We should probably head in right now though.”

When they knock on the door they’re greeted by a butler, which Mike knows he should have expected, yet he still feels weird about. The Henderson house is clearly old money and very fancy. It’s perfect, immaculate, and looks like it was designed without care to the people living in it. Mike instantly feels out of place. Surprisingly, Tillman seems more nervous than him, or at least more reserved than normal, which is weirding Mike out more than the fact that the mansion’s lobby has a fountain in it. They’re taken into a dining room and the butler indicates that they should sit down at the table across from each other and Mike wishes they could sit next to each other instead. Mr. Henderson is already sitting at the table. 

“Hello, Sir,” he says. “Uh, my name is Mike Townsend, it’s nice to meet you. Thanks for having me here tonight.” He holds his hand out to shake while Tillman makes a face at him that Mike knows means, “wow, suck-up.” Mr. Henderson smiles politely and shakes his hand as they exchange greetings. His handshake is firm, while he himself is polite if disinterested. Mike decides to count it as a win - he’ll take apathy towards him instead of outright disappointment. 

Mike zones out while Mr. Henderson talks to Tillman about some business related thing, but is snapped back to reality by Harmony coming in followed by a young woman with a strong family resemblance. She looks like Tillman but not quite and it takes Mike a moment to realize what exactly he’s looking at. Harmony and the clone talk about something before the clone looks over at the table and waves. 

She smiles in a supremely unfriendly way and addresses Tillman. “Heeeeyyy, big brother. Oh, and boyfriend?! Wow, someone’s actually dating you?! That’s incredible!”

“Lots of people have dated me,” Tillman huffs. “How are you doing - manage to land an acting role that’s not ensemble yet?”

Before she can respond Harmony cuts in, practically beaming. “⬛⬛⬛ has actually! A leading role in an upcoming Broadwlay show.” Harmony pulls ⬛⬛⬛ closer to her. “We’re all just so proud! And the reviews have been glowing.”

“Did you pay the reviewers off?” Tillman asks, raising his eyebrow.

Harmony’s face shifts to pure annoyance. “Tillman. You know I don’t pay anyone to do that, just the way I don’t pay anyone to throw blaseball matches for you. I expect all of you to succeed on your own.” She turns back to ⬛⬛⬛. “I’ll help you pick out your outfit for the Mlet Glala later, sweetie. Oh! You’re going to be so beautiful!” Tillman visibly cringes when she says “beautiful.”

This is all so much weirder than he expected; Mike can't help but pull out his phone to text Tillman under the table.

mikeT: uh so thats  
Tillman “Epic” Henderson: Yeah.  
mikeT: so uh  
Tillman “Epic” Henderson: Stop texting me under the table dude my moms gonna see and get mad  
mikeT: i don't want to ruin my first impression with your parents, but we’re all adults here. what's the worst possible outcome?  
Tillman “Epic” Henderson: She stops giving me money  
Tillman “Epic” Henderson: Where do you think the money for that fancy ass stand mixer I got you came from  
mikeT: awww... you're a great sugar daddy babe. but you could just get a job?  
Tillman “Epic” Henderson: Gross. To both of those things.

⬛⬛⬛ leaves the room and Harmony turns back to the table and smiles. “Oh, hello, Mike, sorry you had to see all that.” She moves over to him and shakes his hand. “I know he can be a lot to deal with so I’m so glad you’re taking care of him.”

“Oh, uh, it’s no problem, and I mean, well, he takes care of me too, y’know.”

“Hmmm,” says Harmony and glances over at Tillman, who is now glowering at the water in front of him. “Well, isn’t that simply lovely!”

She sits down next to Mike and continues to talk to him. Mike gets the feeling that she’s talking at him rather than to him, but that’s something he’s used to at this point.

“You know, I’ve offered other teams besides the Crabs my help managing the financial aspects of the splort,” she says “And along with the Fridays, the Garages were the most resistant to the idea. Now do you think they’d have changed their mind by now?”

“Oh uh, probably not, we’re an anarcho-syndicalist collective.” Mike says awkwardly “And I don't think we have any plans to change that.”

“Hmm that’s a shame. Well, if they ever decide to take the management part of the splort seriously you know where to find me,” she laughs, “Sorry to talk about work at what should be a party.”

“Mike, tell us about yourself, Tillman hasn’t told us anything about you.” cuts in Mr. Henderson. 

“I had to find out about you two dating from the tabloids you know!” Harmony says, pointedly staring at Tillman.

Mike cringes internally at this. If they’ve seen the tabloids that means he’s already failed the first impressions test. “Oh uh, well. I make music, it’s sort of part of the Garages whole thing, and, uh, I bake.”

“Oh really?” asks Harmony, “Do you do it professionally as well?”

“I mean I’ve done orders for some of the other teams, but I don’t really have the setup to much more than that right now haha. I’d, uh, love to have a bakery of my own one day though.”

“That’s so nice. It’s good that you have aspirations,” she says once again staring at Tillman as Mike continues to get the feeling that this conversation isn’t really about him. “Have you been up to anything interesting, Tillman?”

“Playing blaseball.”

“Any improvement on your stars yet?”

“You know there hasn’t been.”

“You don’t need to talk back. I simply thought that maybe your team would be working on getting you some blessings.”

“I don’t know what they’re doing.”

“You should really be more invested in what’s going on.”

“Why? It all comes down to chance anyway it’s not like we have any control over it.”

Harmony smiles a tightlipped smile at this, “You know there’s always a way to have control over a situation.”

It’s a relief when dinner is finally served and they can all focus on eating instead of talking. After eating Harmony announces that it will be about 15 minutes before dessert is served. She tells Mike that he just must give his honest opinions on it as a baker while Mike makes a promise to himself not to.

Tillman stands up suddenly. “I’m gonna go smoke a cig while we’re waiting. Mike do you want to see more of the house?”

Harmony tuts “I do wish you would quit smoking,” she says before turning to Mike “You should go get the tour though, we did just do some remodeling.”

“The whole place is gorgeous Mrs. Henderson. It’s uh like something out of a magazine,” he says.

She beams at this “Thank you! Now don't take too long you two.”

Tillman motions at Mike to follow him and he does.

Mike isn’t completely surprised when they run into a different clone on the way to the backyard. They’re sitting in a small side room listening to lo-fi beats and writing on their laptop. They let out a small yelp of surprise when they notice them. Tillman takes a step back and puts his hands up. 

“Sorry, ⬛⬛⬛, did not know you were in here, uhh, watcha doing?”

They look embarrassed for a moment about losing their cool. “Actually it’s Alex now and I’m using they/them pronouns” they shuffle nervously in their seat, “Don’t tell mom and dad, though, I don’t want to have to deal with that right now.” 

Tillman makes a motion of zipping his lips. “I’m not a fucking narc, don’t worry.”

They relax a bit “I’m writing an essay for AP English,” they say pointing at a book next to them. “It’s about Slaughterhouse-Five.”

“Oh, cool!” Mike chimes in. “Good luck with that!”

“Is that for high school or college?” asks Tillman.

“High school…” they say, sounding disappointed. “You would know this if you ever answered my texts or joined our group chat.”

“Group chat?” asks Mike before he can stop himself.

“Yeah, we’ve got a clone group chat! Just to keep each other updated and have a space away from mom and dad. Sometimes we have movie nights or play games and stuff.” they say before staring pointedly at Tillman, “Not everyone has accepted the invite to be in it. And some of us we don’t let in cause they suck.”

Tillman makes a hmph noise “I don’t even understand why you want me in there anyway and I don’t give a shit about the 3000 photos of fish or whatever that I’m sure Taylor spams the chat with.”

“Aren’t you like part crab or something now? You should care about Taylor’s marine biology stuff. It's super cool.”

“Really, because it just sounds like lame nerd stuff.”

Alex rolls their eyes at this. “Anyway since you are probably the original person, it would be nice if you pretended to care sometimes. And to get some insight on like, dealing with mom and dad.”

“You’re not my responsibility,” Tillman says gruffly, slowly moving his way to the other side of the room.

“No shit! But guess what! Things work out better for everyone when you care about other people!”

Tillman pauses his fidgeting for a moment. “I’m not taking cringe ass advice from a child” he says fully walking out of the room now.

“I'm a teenager! And hey maybe if you did you wouldn’t be a loser of an adult!” Alex shouts at Tillman’s retreating figure.

They make eye contact with Mike who is still awkwardly standing where he had first stopped when he’d entered the room.

“Uh, sorry about him,” he says at the same time Alex says “Sorry about that.”

They both awkwardly laugh “You don’t have to try to help him, you know?” Mike says after a pause.

“Neither do you.”

“I know,” he smiles, “but, like you said, things work out better for everyone when you care about other people. Sorry for interrupting your work.”

“It’s fine. Good luck with blaseball or whatever.”

“Haha thanks, uh have a goodnight.”

“You too,” and with that they go back to typing on their laptop

Luckily, the backyard is close, or Mike is sure he would have gotten lost in the maze-like mansion. He finds Tillman outside smoking a cigarette.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“You gonna lecture me about how I should have been nicer?”

“Sounds like you already know that you fucked that up,” Mike says as Tillman passes the cigarette to him. “Are you going to do anything about it?”

“I just hate seeing any of them. Especially the ones who haven’t transitioned. Freaks me the fuck out. Like it’s not their fault, but...”

“Hmm.”

“I know it’s cringe,” Tillman says, running his hand down his head, “but I’m like so fucking jealous of most of them.” He takes the cigarette back from Mike. “I just feel like a fucking bootleg of myself.”

“Huh.”

“Let me figure a way out to phrase this that doesn’t make me sound completely unepic.”

“We’ve got time.” 

“Actually, you don’t,” says a voice as the patio door opens again.

Mike coughs, caught off guard by the sudden voice, which he swears sounds almost just like Tillman's.

“What do you want, Josh?” grumbles Tillman.

“Mom sent me to fetch you both,” he says. “Also you shouldn’t smoke, it’s bad for your health.”

Mike is able to see Josh as he joins the two of them on the patio. His hair is cropped close, his face is missing any sort of carcinization, and he’s skinny compared to Tillman, but he’s so eerily close to being him that Mike feels his skin crawl.

“Uh, hello,” stammers Mike “I’m-”

“The guy from the Garages songs, yes?” Josh says, finishing the sentence for him.

Mike feels his face start to flush and is grateful that the cold night air makes it somewhat more bearable. 

“Yeah dude, he’s like an actual rockstar” Tillman cuts in.

“If he’s an ‘actual rockstar’, why is he wasting his time with you then?” Josh snaps back “Honestly I don’t know which one of you this whole dating situation is more embarrassing for. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it was for mom when the tabloids came out? Disappointment dati-” Josh’s sentence is unceremoniously cut off by Tillman decking him across the face.

“Oh fuck you asshole,” says Josh, wiping blood from his nose, “Really mature. Just a beacon of model behavior right there.”

“Go cry to mom about it and maybe you’ll get your fucking good boy points, you tryhard,” Tillman spits back.

“At least they actually need me for something other than my DNA!”

Tillman laughs “You trying to get a fucking gold star or something? You think they’ll just decide to make you the “Official Original Kid” if you try hard enough?” Josh is the one who lunges this time at Tillman hitting him square in the eye.

“I don’t understand why they even keep helping you when you’re such a fucking failure!” Josh says as Tillman regains his balance. “They got rid of her and she never was as bad as you!” Josh slams his hands over his mouth and looks remorseful for the first time that night.

Tillman doesn’t move. 

Mike feels paralyzed like he’s watching a car wreck and he’s not sure whether to run out of the way or into the middle of it to help.

“I dont fucking know dude. I don’t know why they keep me here.” Tillman says finally before letting out a groan of frustration. “They're not going to get rid of you though that’s for sure. You’re the shining star of having your shit together in the most annoying capitalist way possible.”

“They could.”

Tillman sighs, “They could though.”

They look at each other, like a weird mirror in silence for a bit.

“Should I go tell mom you’ll be back soon?”

“Yeah, you should maybe wipe the blood off your face though, dude,” says Tillman making a wiping motion across his own face.

“Yeah, probably” says Josh. “Happy Birthday Tillman” before heading back inside.

“Jlesus Fucking Christ” says Mike as soon as the door is closed.

“I promise it's not always like this here,” insists Tillman.

Mike finally moves over to where Tillman is still standing “Hey” he says putting his hand on his  
shoulder. “What do you want to do?”

“Kick Josh’s ass for real. I could totally take him down”

Mike sighs. “I’m sure you could, but what do you actually want to do? We could leave right now? I can bake you something way better than whatever the fancy chef here could conjure up.”

“I know you can, but don’t think I can just leave”

“They need your DNA, right? You’re the original so they can’t replace you?”

Tillman laughs “Yeah I'm the original or whatever” He points at his arm “Did you know I got a fake license when I was 15 so I could get some tattoos. I figured that way if they ever replaced me and like uploaded my brain or whatever I’d know if I was real or not. Mom totally lost her shit when she found out.” He pauses for a second “They still haven't figured out the memory transfer thing though so it was kinda pointless. But they do look sick as fuck.”

“They are pretty hot, yeah,” Mike says with a smile.

“If they were actually going to get rid of me they’d have done it by now. Ugh I’m just rambling but, I dunno…” Tillman continues “I’m trying to talk about it right now but I don’t know how.”

“You don’t have to figure it out all at once.”

“You are way too patient for your own good you know.”

“I've been told that,” says Mike as he leans his head onto Tillman’s shoulder. “Haha wow, can’t believe I get to be the one in the relationship to lecture about setting boundaries and standing up for yourself.”

“Please don’t rub it in.”

“Sorry, that's not how I meant it. It’s just weird being on the other side of it.” Mike thinks for a moment “You know, I have pretty good aim. I could nail them in the head with a gravy boat or something. I’m sure we’d get kicked out after that.”

“I would fucking love to see that” Tillman laughs. He pauses like he’s very carefully considering his next words “Thank you for being here. Can we just get through tonight?”

“Got it. No life changing decisions tonight.”

“I think if I try to think about anything else tonight my brain is just going to blue screen,” Tillman says letting out a groan of frustration “Lets just go play nice and speed run the party.”

“Sounds good to me,” says Mike “Lead the way back because I have no idea how to get there.”

They play nice like Tillman suggests and dessert passes fairly uneventfully. If Josh told Harmony anything about the fight she acts like she isn’t aware it happened. There’s some pointed questions about both of their futures but it’s mostly uneventful small talk. Mike is right about being able to bake something better. The pastries are too sweet which blocks out any other flavours and the cake is covered in fondant which he considers to be a crime to cakes everywhere. Finally Mike is able to mention that they have an early flight to catch in the morning and they are able to leave.

They both relax a bit once they're finally out of the mansion and start to walk back to the hotel for the night. 

"I thought before we came that it would make more sense for us to stay at your folks' place, but it seems like I was wrong." Mike says.

Tillman bumps his head into his shoulder "Yea, no dip, dumbass," he says before making a face “Sorry, was that too mean?”

Mike laughs, harder than he should, grateful that the tension from the night has been broken and at the relief of no longer being in the mansion.

“Dude, I’m trying!” says Tillman “Stop laughing at me!”

“Sorry, sorry!” he says in between peals of laughter “No, you’re fine babe.”

They walk in silence for a while after that, and Tillman makes a big show out of taking out his phone and joining the clone group chat. The night is cold and their breath is forming steam clouds in the air. He watches Tillman, quiet for once, breathe in and out. He’s not sure whether to breach the silence. Finally, he decides to reach for his hand, apparently at the exact same time Tillman reaches for his, and they awkwardly bump hands into each other. They both laugh and Tillman mutters something about it being totally gay. His hand now secure in Tillman's, Mike decides to bring up the idea he had for what to actually get Tillman for his birthday.

“You know, I used to do stick-and-poke tattoos back in college. I dunno if you've ever seen some of Jaylen’s, but I inked those.”

“Oh, shit, really? Those tats fucking rule.” His tone switches to playful. “Wow, you were so cool, what happened?”

Mike rolls his eyes affectionately at Tillman’s teasing. “I could bust out my kit again, give you one? It would count as a birthday present, too?”

Tillman doesn't respond and looks away.

“Jeeze, if you hate the idea, just tell me and I'll get a glamestop gift card for you.”

“You’d do that for me?”

“Getting you a gift card? Anyday, babe.”

This time, it’s Tillman’s turn to roll his eyes. “You know I mean the tattoo.”

“Of course.”He squeezes his hand in his.

Tillman thinks for a minute. “Yeah, I’d really like that. I… I don't know what design I’d want yet, though.”

Mike smiles. “That's fine. We can figure it out together.”

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thank you to my friends who helped me edit this! This would not be as cohesive, technically or conceptually, without you and I’m so grateful for your help.  
> This fic is very much me taking something that's not meant to be deep, overthinking it and running away with it. So I’m kinda nervous about sharing this. I fully expect to be incinerated for my Tillman crimes. However, you will have to catch me first.
> 
> Few notes about the fic:  
> The clone’s don’t all have the same birthday as Tillman. Their birthdays are whenever their cloning process was complete.  
> If you’ve seen Umbrella Academy, Josh is just Luther to me.  
> The clone who died did so because she was the first clone and she became unstable physically ala the clones in Danny Phantom. Harmony didn’t actually kill her but realized that she could use the idea that she had as emotional leverage. This happened when Tillman and Josh and her were in high school. Tillman and her had been acting out a lot and he and Josh still think that's part of why she disappeared,  
> I like to think that sometime after this Alex gets to hang out with Mike and Tillman. Alex ends up cornering Mike with a razor and demanding he give them a shitty undercut like a lot of the Garages have. He does and they’re very happy with it.


End file.
